Unconditional Love

    May 2000

    Christian Boylove Lives
    A Christian at a Secular Boylove Forum
    By DannyBoi
    Edited by Heather Elizabeth Peterson

    The posts in this section are reprinted from BoyChat with permission of their author. For an index to these posts, click here.


    Submitted by DannyBoi on July 11, 1999


    I'm sorry to see your posts more accurately, many of the ones responding to Preacher-types spouting the same venom and painting with as broad a brush as the ones you rise up against. I don't see how that helps the cause of boylovers or enlightens those who are awash in ignorance.

    Those of any faith Christian, Muslim, Jew who care more about doctrine or dogma than truth tend to be folk of limited education vis-a-vis their faith, and are spoon-fed much of what they spout. (Note the Christians who think the English King James Version is "the Bible," although many feminine images of God were made masculine in order to better serve the King
    imagery. . . . "I lift my eyes up unto the Mountains, where does my help come from" is but one example, better translated as "nurturing breasts." Ah, a tangent . . . my middle name.) You will also find such ignorance and intolerance among folk of no faith or agnostic belief. In other words, in my humble opinion, it is not a "Christian" fault, it is a human fault.

    I consider myself a Christian, I know a loving God, and as far as I'm concerned, my God created me a boylover for the good it can do. (Would I have chosen this life, given the stigma and dangers of even perception?) But I do not expect others who share my faith to necessarily share my boylove views, just as I don't expect other boylovers to share my faith.

    So why must I, coming to this board for support, be lumped in as "you Christians" who had better understand something? Is that any more righteous than having boylovers lumped in with child molesters? Or whites with KKK members? Or . . . you get the idea. 

    Individuals hate, bear false witness, judge, and hurt all on their own. Whatever crutch we give them as their excuse only allows them to not grow in knowledge or take ownership for their own words and actions.

    I don't like the actions of those who like Preacher judge others (to build up their own feelings of worth?), but I will not damn someone's religion or belittle an entire faith to voice my disdain or anger. 

    Bob, your posts are so often loving and supportive even to those who challenge your views, I can't help but wonder if there wasn't some incident in your life that served as a catalyst for what seems to be your anti-Christian explosions. (Explosion's a bad word choice, but I can't find anything else expressing how out of character they seem coming from you. Sorry.)

    I am not trying to turn BoyChat into Religious Debate Chat, but I am hoping that I as a person of faith who is also a boylover can feel at home here as anyone else. If you wish to continue responding to Preacher-types as you have, that is your right. But please, if your problem is with someone's misinterpretation of their faith or ignorant understanding of it, or even their personal prejudices in the guise of faith, target your rebuttals to that. Otherwise, in the eyes of maybe only this one person, you are hurting others who happen to be boylovers as much as any non-boylover can. I shouldn't have to choose between my faith and my orientation in order to find support here. I hope you agree . . . at least with my last sentence.

    Last, although this one topic is a sore point at the moment, I do want to thank you and the others for all your hard work on BoyChat. When I first found this link on the Net and started lurking, the weight of aloneness was quickly lifted from my shoulders. I appreciate the time you devote to the cause, and I hope my words help rather than hurt. 


    Submitted by DannyBoi on July 19, 1999


    Thank you for your wisdom, moderation, and support. You hit the crux of this issue for me. . . .

    I want and need a place to find support, information, and even humor once in awhile. Community is a plus, as is understanding.

    Bob, and others, had shared insights I found to be on-point and, when I was a new lurker, almost frightening similar to my own experiences and feelings as a boylover. (Tangent Alert: Are newcomers often surprised to find how many people share their wants, fears, love, memories, et al?) But the anti-who-I-am venom stung, as I suspect it was supposed to, and I was afraid I'd have to leave the support found here for one part of who I am in order to avoid the base and hateful comments hurled at another part of me.

    What could hurt more than not having the kind of support BoyChat can provide? Knowing that is exists but does not support the boylover in you because of your faith. My first few posts never mentioned my faith so far as I recall, and I never brought it up until I saw Bob attack Preacher (who I thought was kind of a jerk . . . because of who he was, not what he was).

    But I have seen acceptance and support from a number of folks here, so I think I'll stay, lurking some and posting some. I'll hope that folks stop painting with a broad brush when they are trying to paint a tiny picture, so that I only get smudged if they are intending to smudge me. 

    There is still a lot of knowledge and insight here, garnered by years of life-experience I don't yet have. I'll just hope what you seem to hope, that the rains in this garden bring warm refreshing life-giving water, not cold shriveling death. (OK, minus two points for a terrible metaphor.)

    Thanks, Carl. I wish you, um, good karma? 


    Submitted by DannyBoi on July 19, 1999

    Um, no? You don't think so? 

    Well, certainly people who have considered themselves boylovers, who have called themselves boylovers, have molested boys or acted against a boy's will or manipulated boys or . . . 

    What? Still not convinced? You say a real boylover would never do those things? That someone who knew what it meant to truly love a boy could not engage in such activity? But still, if they do those things and call themselves boylovers or believe they are . . .

    Anger? One step away from a flame? Shaking your head because you think "I" just don't understand? 

    Well, then maybe you understand just a little about how I feel everytime I have to read something like Stan's post above. Or like Bob's response to Preacher's departure . . . which either no one read or responded to.

    Yes, I am a Christian. I am a Boylover. God made me the way I am (in my belief system, not imposing it on anyone), so the two can't be mutually exclusive. But excuse me I should not have to choose between my faith and my orientation in order to find support here, damn it. Just as this is not an arena for debating Christian truth, dogma, or doctrine (because you can do that elsewhere), neither is this a place for anti-Christian diatribe (I suspect that also can be done elsewhere).

    I agree that many fundamentalist Christians, and even some mainline Protestant denominations, are anti-lots of things. Can these people be Christians? Maybe in a sense of the word, yes, but certainly they do not live as Christ lived, or even by his example. No, I'm not trying to convert anyone . . . but I am saying that judging all Christians by the limited, ignorant views of a few or even many is just as wrong as society-at-large's judgement of boylovers (or those who claim to be).

    You will never defeat ignorance by yelling, insulting, hating or hurting: you will only force them to become more entrenched. Try educating, enlightening, living as an example.

    And in the meantime, please let's focus on support for boylovers, so that those of us who are Christian, Muslim, Jew, Buddhist, Sikh, etc. might feel as welcome and uplifted here as those among us who are agnostics, atheists, or searchers. . . .


    With Love and Support, 

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